Insulting my like of babynames: Should I be offended?

First off, I'm not pregnant, but I do love thinking up names for potential babies. I was talking to a friend online and stated that I really like the name Aoki Rivera (A-Oh-Key Riv-air-a). The friend said that because I am of german and english decent, it would be abusive to name a child that and told me it was just plain wrong, unless the father was asian (which my husband is not). I got very offended, taking it as if he was judging my abilties to be a mother and the choices that I'd make. Granted, I don't think I would name a child that because I have other names that I like a lot more, but it still hurt me. Personally, I think people should have free reign over what they choose to name their children because we've come that far as a society. Would anyone else have been offended?

Insulting my like of babynames: Should I be offended?
If you are going to be offended you shouldn't ask the question. You wanted to know if she liked the names. I agree you have the right to name your child whatever you want just don't ask others help or opinions on it.
Reply:wow. this best answer sucks. Report Abuse

Reply:Yes i'd be offended. The Name you choose is your choice it's special b/c it comes from you.


Don't ever let anyone tell you they don't like a name you like. just ignore them. It's your opinion
Reply:Whether or not you "should" be offended is not really the question, but obviously that would bug the crap out of someone. What your friend said to you was unnecessary. The could have expressed their opinion on your name choice without having been so rude.


However, I think you may have over analyzed a bit. It was a simple, though rude, remark on the subject of names.


Maybe you did take it that far, though, possibly because he may have made other remarks in the past about your potential mothering abilities.


As for now, it would be petty and seemingly silly of you to bring it back up to your friend, however, next time he is rude again, you shuld address it with him, stating that you both have different ideas of names, and you would appreciate more respect from a friend.


Either that, or no longer speak about that subject again, if he brings it up again, and realizes the cold shoulder to that topic, he may realize his mistake.


Anyhow, I would have also been a little brought aback had a friend made that comment to me, and can see where you are coming from.


good luck =]
Reply:I would be offended to.


It is downright ignorant to say it's "abusive" to choose a name you like for your child that doesn't agree with your origin.


Your friend leads a very sheltered life if she believes that is a form of abuse.
Reply:I would have been offended. It wasn't called for. You didn't ask whether you should stick to names from your background. You asked for an opinion about a specific name. To me, all she should have said is whether she liked or not. I think you should have the freedom to name a child anything you desire! :)
Reply:I think your friend was being honest with you. Perhaps "abusive" was going a bit far. But many people *do* react negatively to unusual names. If you're feeling defensive when it's just a possible name for a theoretical child, imagine how you'll feel when you're introducing your actual baby and other people are raising their eyebrows.





And, honestly, while I like unusual names, I find Aoki Rivera pretty far out there. If it reflected your family heritage, it might be understandable. But to choose it out of the blue? It's an extreme baby name.





If you're going to go for a wildly exotic name, this would be a very, very good time to grow a thick skin AND hope that your child is born with one, too.
Reply:Of course every parent has a right to name their child what ever they choose (unless it's a cuss word =P) and I completely agree that that person should not have been so up-forward with their opinion. People have all different opinions on what names sound good or not, so I wouldn't take most people's opinions to heart. I do the same thing (thinking up names, lol) and when I put up my question on people's opinions of names that I like, I knew I would have to prepare myself for everyone having different opinions and not getting offended if they did. So yeah, you're righ,t but don't get offended =)
Reply:My really huge pet peve is people who name their children with "unique" names. Names like America, Essential, Essence, Princess/ Prince, Chlamydia (yes, they knew what it was but liked the way it sounded) make me wonder if the parents ever gave a second thought about how those kids will fare growing up! They will be humiliated by other kids! I just can't imagine how the heck Chlamydia is going to get a date to the prom....married etc...Poor girl.


I dunno. I am Hawaiian and had "ethnic" middle and last names that were culturally normal and was still teased to the point of adopting my step-dads last name to escape from it.


Parents need to remember that the cute name they choose now will follow these kids as they grow up. Say to yourself would I take %26lt;insert name here%26gt; seriously if they were my boss? If not, then re think your choice! And for the love of god, do not name your kids because of some dumb celebrity or fictional character was very popular when the kid was born!


Sorry...Just had to drop my 2 cents here.


Playing with baby names is one thing....actually naming them that is another entirely!
Reply:I believe that the parent's have the right to name their child what they like. Lots of Americans are being called Irish names so why can't a English/Germans child be called a name of Asian decent! Personally I don't like the name but if you like it then that's all that matters and if and when you have a child you name it that then Congrats!
Reply:no, don't be offended! Of course you like different names than everyone else. Personally, I don't really like that name, but I don't think just because you named your kid something different means your a bad parent.
Reply:Aoki Rivera is AWESOME. dont take your friend seriously. I love the name, the only thing that ruins it for me is that there is a Sushi restaurant nearby named Aoki, lol. but i still love the name!
Reply:Aoki sounds like a nice name. You or your spouse don't have to be asian. Don't get offended so easily by what others say. :)
Reply:i would
Reply:I'd just be pissed! Seriously, no offense to your friend, but that was a very close-minded thing to say. Who is he to say that people should stick with names within their own ethnicity? Personally, I think Aoki is an adorable name, as is Rivera! What do you think he'd say if you decided to use the name Adolph? Because you're German, would that be an alright thing to do?





Though yeah, I'd probably be a bit offended as well. He kind of came off as sounding as if you're stupid or something for choosing a name outside of you and your husband's ethnicity. I'd predict that your kids would be so much more interesting than his anyway lol - that's what better parenting does!





True, society has come a long, long way, but apparently not so long for some people out there.
Reply:Why should you care? there are much bigger things to be offended about.





Besides, how does criticizing a name turn into him judging your ability to be a mother? You're overly sensitive.





Of course people have free reign over what to name their children. And everyone else has free reign to mock them for giving their children pretentious and silly names. "Free country" works both ways.





If you like the name, use it, but get used to people finding it strange or odd and giving their opinions. I'm sick of hearing from everyone that the names I like are "too common" because I refuse to make up a name for my son. But I deal with it and I don't get offended.





And of course you can give a child a Japanese name whether they're Japanese or not... just remember that the kid has to live with/spell/pronounce the name for the rest of their life.





Our son will have an English name and Korean name because I'm having him in South Korea where we live... but there is a REASON for giving him a Korean name... we're doing it so that he will be able to more easily fit in where we live.
Reply:First and foremost, I do not think that your friend was necessarily judging your ability to be a mother, because from my point of view, the free will to choose a name for your offspring does not in any way affect your ability to be a good parent, otherwise there would be plenty of celebrities out there who wouldn't make crash hot parents.


Secondly, I think you need to inform your friend that you were offended by his actions and simply inform him that name choice rarely has a great deal to do with heritage - I love many name of Irish decent, but I myself am not of Irish decent in any way.


Also, perhaps try not to be so sensitive to criticism - I have previously received criticism on the names I love, but if anything, it makes me love them more, and just because one person does not like the name does not mean you should take offence.


Lastly, I'm all for free reign, and personally see nothing wrong with the aforementioned name. I do, however, see something wrong with the fact that your friend was so narrow minded as to believe a child of Asian decent should have exclusive rights to that name. Surely we, as a society, have come far enough to overlook the origins of names and therefore be able to use the across the board - yes, I will not deny that some names simply sound "better" for a child of a given decent, but then again, I wouldn't have my name had my parents been fussy about origins, and truth be told, the vast majority of us actually wouldn't. After all, the world of baby names is constantly expanding and changing, and hence in contemporary society, there are origins that would not have existed in our parent's or grandparent's era.


Continue thinking up names - it's only natural to do so, and try to ignore criticism. It's always nice to see a unique name among names that are otherwise becoming common and mainstream.
Reply:I think your friend was in wrong in telling you you had to stick to names that are of german and english decent, but I also think you over-reacted in getting very offended as you did. She didnt like the name you picked out, big deal.
Reply:i am offended whenever someone pushes their oppinions off on me...especially when it comes to baby names.





baby names are such a sacred thing for parents...i especially hate it when people call certain names 'ghetto' or 'low class'...atleast those parents went to the trouble of trying to give their child a name that 1. means something, 2. possibly honors other members of the family, like a grandmother or parent, 3. is unique.





to ancient people the naming of a baby was so important that in some cultures the name was first whispered to the baby so that it 'stuck' or 'held' and babies were named twice: at birth to protect them from spirits and at womanhood/manhood to symbolize their entry into adulthood.





i think every parent has the right to name their child whatever they want to name them....hasn't celebrities taught you'all anything (apple, rumor, denim, deisel, and coco)...honestly.





you go ahead and name your kids whatever you want...i think the name is fly and they'll probably never meet another kid with that same name. unlike the names mary and emma, when the teacher says 'aoki', only one kid is gonna respond!





-hbb
Reply:I dont agree with the fact you have to stick with names in your geneology. Im german. does that mean that I have to stick with names that are of a german decent?


If you like a name that is asian and neither you or your s.o are who cares! I would just ignore rude comments about names from now on. name your baby what you want! like you said.. a name shows nothing about your mothering skills.
Reply:I would have! why does it matter what nationality the name is? Im from asian decent and I chose english name and german I believe! I don't think the parents desent should have anything to do with naming your child! that guy is a moron
Reply:Forget your friend and the other losers on here who constantly preach about "ghetto" names, Irish names, Japanese names, or "misspelled" names. There are no such things! Name your child whatever you'd like to name your child. That is your right as a parent. Ignore nay sayers and who cares what other people think? Everyone has different tastes and you have every right to use your taste to choose a name of your liking for your future children